When Inga celebrated the birth of her first child with her wife Jenny, the last thing she expected in her bid to be recognised as the baby's second mother was a criminal record check. So, Inga went to court to change the law.
In Germany, only the biological mother is legally recognised as a parent and her female partner must go through a formal adoption process to become the child's second parent, even if they are married. And, the process can take years.
"They asked me for a medical certificate, an HIV test, my criminal records, a self-written report of my life and photos of me with the child, among other things," Inga, 38, based in Berlin. She added, "There is no information available about how these things are assessed: how healthy do I have to be in order to be allowed to be a parent? How much do I have to smile in the pictures? Or, how much money should I earn?" Inga declined to give her full name as the case involving her parental rights over her second child, filed in December, is ongoing.
Inga and Jenny are among more than a dozen lesbian couples who have gone to court since August, last year, seeking to reform Germany's civil code, which does not recognise lesbian parents, forcing the second woman to apply to adopt her own child.
Cases are being heard in family courts around the country, with two cases heading for the federal constitutional court - where a ruling in favour of the women could force the government to change the law.
Inga was traumatised by the nine-month wait to be recognised as the mother of her son, born in 2018. She had to take him to hospital multiple times when he fell seriously ill, as Jenny had returned to work, but she had no legal parenting rights. "I was not allowed to take any decisions regarding his health as they would not consider me his mother legally," said Inga.
Germany is one of the most liberal countries in the world in terms of LGBT+ rights. Gay sex has been legal since the 1960s and LGBT+ people have wide-ranging workplace discrimination protections and are allowed to serve in the military. Yet, in parts, it remains a conservative country.
A 2019 study by the Robert Bosch Stiftung, a charitable foundation, found that 21 per cent of Germans did not believe gay men or lesbians should be able to have children.
Same-sex marriage was introduced in 2017, but parliament has rejected a Green Party bill seeking to automatically recognise lesbian couples as co-parents. Another bill, sponsored by the Social Democrats (SPD) last year, never made it to parliament.
The 'Nodoption' or no adoption initiative began with Christina Klitzsch-Eulenburg and Janina Eulenburg who filed a case in August seeking to be recognised as co-parents of their child. "It is discriminatory that we are required to adopt our own child. There's something wrong in a democracy when a minority is so poorly protected," said Klitzsch-Eulenburg, whose case has been adjourned until the constitutional court rules on the other two lawsuits.
Germany falls mid-way between countries like Britain, Spain and Austria, which grant joint parenthood from birth, and East European states that do not allow second-parent adoption, says the Network of European LGBTIQ Families Associations.
Berlin-based Carrie and Marie-Luise are one of two couples whose case was referred on to the constitutional court in March, this year. "We are doing it for our children, but also for all the other rainbow families in a similar situation," said Carrie, who asked for her full name to be withheld.
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