Legal Jokes @ Latest Laws – 3
Humour @ Latest Laws-
Truly the First Case-
An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. “Mr. Rakesh,” she says. “Would you say you’re honest?”
“Honest?” replies Rakesh.
“Let me tell you something about honesty. My father lent me Rs.1,85,000 for my education, and I paid back every paisa the minute I tried my first case.”
“Impressive. And what sort of case was that?”
“My Dad sued me for the money.”
A Bird or Two-
After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the Court Reader suggested setting up a date for him to return with both the money for the fine and proof of community service.
“That way,” she said innocently, “you can kill two birds with one stone.”
Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations.
So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted loudly.
“He’s lying!” he yelled.
“There were only three of us.”
All in the Family-
While prosecuting a robbery case, I conducted an Cross examination of the arresting officer.
My first question: “Did you see the Accused at the scene?”
“Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered.
“Was the area well lit?”
“No. It was pretty dark.”
“Then how could you identify the Accused ?” I asked, concerned.
Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”
Cutting Long story short-
In the Traffic Magistrate accused was hauled before the judge for driving without license plates.
The judge listened attentively while accused person gave him a long, plausible explanation.
Then Judge he said with great courtesy, “My dear sir, we are not blaming you—we’re just fining you.”
As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face.
I reviewed his record and found that the man was a career criminal,
except for a five-year period in which there were no convictions.
“Joginder,” I asked, puzzled, “how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?”
“I was in prison,” he answered.
Accused said, “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”
“That’s not possible,” I said.
“I wasn’t even a judge then.”
“No, you weren’t the judge,” the Accused Joginder countered, smiling mischievously.
“You were my lawyer.”
Nothing but Truth-
How many lawyer jokes are in existence?
Only three. All the rest are true stories.