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Legal Jokes @ Latest Laws – 1

Humour @ Latest Laws-

WitWit 1

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.
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Q: What’s black and brown and looks good on an attorney?

 A: A doberman pinscher.

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Q. What’s the difference between God and a lawyer?

A. God does not think he is a lawyer!

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Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called “Divorced Barbie”?

 A: Yeah, it comes with half of Ken’s things and alimony.

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Q: What’s the problem with lawyer jokes?

A: Lawyer’s don’t think they’re funny, and no one else thinks they’re jokes.

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Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?

A: At the city morgue.

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 Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

 A: Lipstick

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Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

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 Q: What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz full of lawyers?

A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

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 Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?

 A: Professional courtesy.

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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

 A: Not enough sand.

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 Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?

 A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck!

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 Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?

A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

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Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start!

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Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

A: His lips are moving.

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Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

 A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

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Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

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 Q: What’s the difference between lawyers and buzzards?

 A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.

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 Q: What’s the definition of a lawyer?

 A: A mouth with a life support system

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. Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?

A: No changes occur.

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Q: What’s the difference between God and an attorney?

A: God doesn’t think he’s an attorney.

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Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?

A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

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Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?

A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

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Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

 A: When they land, they prevent anything from functioning for the next hundred years.

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Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A. A vampire only sucks blood at night

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